Impatience

It's a sad revelation when you take those hard looks in the mirror at yourself and realize that maybe the things you used to do so well require more effort than you're used to putting forth. A once confident or even cocky attitude can be swiftly and painfully replaced by self-doubt and even apprehension when you find that you are struggling to accomplish what used to come with so much ease. That is the place I find myself in now. Trying to juggle home, school, work, and all those other assorted tasks that make up my life is taking it's toll, and I now question...am I still that good? Why do I suddenly feel parentally challenged, scholastically inept, and emotionally spent? Why have I been struggling with an English essay for over a week, to the point where I'd simply rather just do something else, like post my mounting feelings of inadequacy? When did all this become a struggle?





But then, so many things are struggles right now...





My impatience with life is definitely showing like a pantyline that's not supposed to be there when you wear a pair of tight pants. It's just sitting out there in plain view, misbehaving, telling e'rybody my business, like a child who knows nothing about the word discretion and when to use it. But what exactly am I impatient about? Life? Am I hanging on the edge of expectancy just because, or is there some purpose, some moment changing event that I subconsciously know is on the horizon, and it just hasn't shown its face yet?





I

don't

know...





And yet today is another day that requires me to press on, waiting for the unexpected, and dealing with the day to day challenges that make up this thing called life.





Today is in front of me, so I suppose my impatience must hang in the closet for now...and wait to see if I decide to wear it to the dance later.